Diet Culture, Money, and Friendship

Expensive friendships. And friends who cost us a healthy relationship with food.

Nina Badzin

Jan 30

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Name the first person you knew on a diet. Other than your mother! Though I’m not disregarding the influence there.

Can you remember the first friend who obsessed about food? Can you picture the moment when she (so often a she) announced she was cutting out fat? Carbs? Or half of the day’s meals? Your age will determine which trend was en vogue.

Going back to that friendship—Did you deduce that if this friend needed to lose weight, then you must too? While it’s not uncommon for introductions to the cult of thinness to come from our mothers, we are also deeply influenced by friends, even as adults.

So listen, I’m normally here to celebrate the significant good that comes from our friendships. As I mentioned here earlier in the month, the authors of The Goof Life, Dr. Robert Waldinger and Dr. Marc Schulz, have made the rounds in all the news outlets touting the essential health benefits of solid friendships.

I believe them! Friendship IS critical for good health.

Nevertheless, we can pick up harmful physical and emotional habits from friends. I dealt with two of those negative aspects of friendship in recent podcast episodes of Dear Nina.

QUICK NOTE: If you like the podcast, please tell a friend or share on social media. I’m so grateful!

#1. Diets, Chasing Thinness, and the Influence of Friends

What do I mean by diet culture and friendship?

I'm referring to how the culture of dieting and the worship of thinness affects friendships, can become competitive, and is spread among friends. We also discussed the situation of friends being overly invested in and overly influenced by each other's decisions about food.

My guest, Pam Moore, is an intuitive eating coach, and she helped me dissect the food issues that are so pervasive in our lives.

FIND “Diet Culture & Friendship” ON APPLE PODCASTS, SPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LISTEN TO PODCASTS!

#2. Navigating Money & Friendship

Do you overspend to keep up with friends? Do you feel uncomfortable when the topic of money comes up at all? I spoke to Mia Brabham, staff writer at Shondaland.com, about the trickiness of conversations about money with friends, which came from two of Mia’s articles on the topic.

We discussed her article, "The Art of Friendship: How to Open Up About Money." And I was especially drawn to her article, "How Much Are Your Friendships Costing You."

We got into issues that come up around finances: splitting meals and gifts; planning trips; participating in expectations around weddings and showers. Mia shared ways to make talking about finances less awkward. Some of the solutions apply to any topic that's normally private and therefore tough to handle in friendship.

FIND “Navigating Money and Friendship” ON APPLE PODCASTS, SPOTIFY, OR ANYWHERE YOU LISTEN TO PODCASTS!

Latest Books and TV Shows

This week I’m re-reading Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett, one of my favorite friendship memoirs of all time, in preparation for the first Dear Nina book club session. There’s still space for a few more people! Feb 5th, 7:00 CST, on Zoom. I can’t wait!
I started The Last of Us on HBO because I tend to like dystopian stuff. But, whoa. It’s gruesome. I’m still in the first episode. Should I keep going? For reference, I loved reading and watching Station Eleven.
I finished season 2 of Ginny & Georgia on Netflix. I really liked it. As I shared on Instagram, I appreciated seeing a friendship (in this case, between Georgia and Ellen), where the teen daughters are fighting, but the moms’ friendship does not suffer for it. SO refreshing!

Speaking of parents getting too involved in the teen’s friendship issues, see the latest anonymous question I answered— “My Kid Ended a Friendship With Your Kid: Don’t Blame ME.”

Write to me anonymously at ninabadzin.com/dearnina. That will take you directly to the form, which doesn’t require an email address.

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