Be the reason your neighborhood is friendlyWish your area was more welcoming? You might be the solution.
“It’s impossible to make friends here!” Readers (and listeners) have said that to me for over a decade. The “here” varies. It can be my own city of Minneapolis known for its “Minnesota Nice” ways, which is not meant as a compliment. Sometimes its the “Seattle Freeze” or small towns where it seems like everyone knows each other already. I saw a post earlier today on Threads saying that Los Angeles is “an impossible place to meet people.” My guest on the podcast this week is Aaron Hurst, founder of the U.S. Chamber of Connection. He and his team are addressing loneliness on a national scale. Here’s what I loved most about our conversation: the solutions Aaron the team are suggesting are surprisingly simple. We’re talking potlucks, block parties, bagels in your driveway, and neighborhood-wide walks. They’re encouraging small, consistent efforts to bring people together and they want YOU to volunteer where you live. Yes, you. Think your neighborhood or wider area isn’t friendly, warm, and welcoming? I’d ask—what are you doing to change the experience? And are you showing up to the things that already exist? I appreciated hearing a few ideas from listeners. Deborah Copperud of the Read Minnesota Books Podcast said,
Heather Boneparth of The Joint Account said their town in New Jersey, “has a long-running Newcomers Club that anyone who moves to town can join, and they host events people actually want to attend. We met several couples we’re still friends with a decade later! I’m so grateful we found it and participated.” Heather’s point at the end matters deeply and it’s something I cannot stress enough. She and her husband participated. There are two types community members who are key to a friendly and welcoming place to live:
This theme has come up repeatedly on the podcast and in this newsletter. We need planners, but we also need joiners. If nobody will say yes, there’s no motivation for planning. And if nobody steps up to lead, there’s nothing to join in the first place. Who should be planning bagels on the corner of the block, neighborhood walks, gardening clubs, block-wide book clubs, or whatever else sounds like a low-key way to meet people? Anyone who is looking to meet people! The best way to meet others and feel part of a neighborhood is to help get people together. And don’t just invite newcomers. Anyone who is looking to expand their social connections should be encouraged to attend. And if you want to meet people, but simply cannot take on any of the planning, that’s ok. You can show up. We need you too! Nobody expects you to fix your entire town, but what if you could improve your block or your small corner of the neighborhood? Aaron and I got into all of this and more in episode 193 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. You can listen on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and anywhere you get your podcasts! Is your neighborhood, town, or wider city welcoming? How so? I’d love to hear!
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Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them! Instagram | TikTok | YouTube | LinkedIn | My Website
You’re a free subscriber to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. Curious about those once-a-month emails behind the paywall? The anonymous letters (and my answers!) come from the rawest places of friendship uncertainty. They deserve the most sensitive readers who are not going to roll their eyes, leave troll-ish comments, or make the letter-writer feel foolish for asking. If you’re willing to upgrade to this part of the newsletter, I know you’re there with the best intentions to be part of a community that’s not afraid to ask the tough questions and who will read the answers with an open heart. If that’s you, I’d love to see on the other side. :)
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