This week I had the pleasure of speaking to a writer I’ve long admired—Harlan Cohen, New York Times bestselling author and expert on navigating life’s most vulnerable transitions. He has spent decades helping college students and parents prepare for big social shifts. The lessons absolutely apply to adults too.
We focused on the Law of Rejection—the idea that rejection, while painful, might not be as personal as we think it is.
Harlan said in episode 143 of Dear Nina: “The Law of Rejection, also referred to as The Universal Rejection Truth, says that not everyone will respond to me the way I always want. Not everybody is going to include me, appreciate me, desire me, date me, hire me and respect me the way that I would like to be acknowledged.”
In other words, not everyone will like us and want to be our friends. And WE don’t want to be friends with everyone! But that doesn’t mean we’re doing friendship wrong (or that they are). It means people are living with their own timelines, preferences, and needs. And we cannot control other people!
How to stop taking rejection personally
The emotional toll of always being the planner and initiator
The power of curiosity over assumptions
And how rejection might just be redirection
We shared real-life stories, including Harlan’s full-circle college roommate story. And Harlan pushed me to stop caring so much about friends and family rolling their eyes at my social media posts.
FIND EPISODE #143 on Apple, Spotify, Youtube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts!
You can start the 2025 challenge any time. Each month is meant to stand alone and you don’t need an entire month to accomplish any of them. Find all the challenges listed here. Come back and let me know how it went no matter when you try that month’s “assignment.”
I’m running a two-hour workshop (in person) at ModernWell in Minneapolis on May 14th, 12:30-2:30. I’ll discuss all the steps, answer questions, and we’ll end with time to run your idea by everyone at the table. Register here. Want a private session in-person (or virtually)? That info is here.
I see so many friendship-related things, either because I find them myself or listeners send them to me. I love hearing from listeners and readers!
Reading: I’m reading an early copy of Bad Friend: How Women Revolutionized Modern Friendship by Tiffany Watt Smith.
My 2025 reading list can be found here. I update it throughout the year.
TV: The Last of Us and Handmaid’s Tale are both haunting my sleep. I’m caught up on both if anyone wants to discuss. I sometimes watch an episode of Abbott Elementary to cleanse my eyeballs and brain.
Cooking: We ate this Dilly Chicken Soup from Adeena Sussman’s cookbook for three nights this week. We were keeping child #2 healthy for her role as Eurydice in Hadestown. It was a stressful week for this stage mom.
Two anonymous friendship advice questions you might have missed
Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them!
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