The Law of Rejection: Why It’s Not Personal (Even When It Feels That Way)This week I had the pleasure of speaking to a writer I’ve long admired—Harlan Cohen, New York Times bestselling author and expert on navigating life’s most vulnerable transitions. He has spent decades helping college students and parents prepare for big social shifts. The lessons absolutely apply to adults too. We focused on the Law of Rejection—the idea that rejection, while painful, might not be as personal as we think it is. Harlan said in episode 143 of Dear Nina: “The Law of Rejection, also referred to as The Universal Rejection Truth, says that not everyone will respond to me the way I always want. Not everybody is going to include me, appreciate me, desire me, date me, hire me and respect me the way that I would like to be acknowledged.” In other words, not everyone will like us and want to be our friends. And WE don’t want to be friends with everyone! But that doesn’t mean we’re doing friendship wrong (or that they are). It means people are living with their own timelines, preferences, and needs. And we cannot control other people! Harlan and I explored:
We shared real-life stories, including Harlan’s full-circle college roommate story. And Harlan pushed me to stop caring so much about friends and family rolling their eyes at my social media posts. FIND EPISODE #143 on Apple, Spotify, Youtube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts!
REMINDER: The 2025 friendship challenge is for everyone!You can start the 2025 challenge any time. Each month is meant to stand alone and you don’t need an entire month to accomplish any of them. Find all the challenges listed here. Come back and let me know how it went no matter when you try that month’s “assignment.” WANT TO START A PODCAST?I’m running a two-hour workshop (in person) at ModernWell in Minneapolis on May 14th, 12:30-2:30. I’ll discuss all the steps, answer questions, and we’ll end with time to run your idea by everyone at the table. Register here. Want a private session in-person (or virtually)? That info is here. Articles and Other Finds About FriendshipI see so many friendship-related things, either because I find them myself or listeners send them to me. I love hearing from listeners and readers!
Books, Shows, Recipes I’m Into These Days
THANK YOU TO Get Red PR—THIS WEEK’S DEAR NINA SPONSOR
Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. We provide outstanding communications capabilities infused with in-depth client knowledge to help businesses in wide-ranging sectors achieve their higher potential. We primarily work with authors/books, small businesses, nonprofits, and thought leaders. Links to Amazon, Bookshop.org, or other affiliates might earn me a tiny commission, which helps operations of Dear Nina. You’re a free subscriber to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. Frustrated with some of your friends? You’re not alone! The anonymous letters are a perk for paying subscribers. You probably have a similar question. Upgrade any time for the full archive AND for (optional!) quarterly Zoom hangouts with Nina and other paying subscribers.
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Friday, 25 April 2025
This Friendship Truth Will Set You Free
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