Is the inside really more important than the outside?
Forrest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."
Paula Coelha said, "Life is like a garden, you reap what you sow."
And then there's Dan C., a bowling friend of mine, and he said that life is like a pencil. He explained his theory as follows:
1. The length of the pencil represents our longevity.
As we move through life we occasionally need sharpening. If you could imagine what that feels like, it must be painful! But afterwards, it's also, sharper. This represents the hard lessons we all learn throughout our lives.
2. The Eraser represents the little mistakes along the way.
Though the past cannot be changed, there is still an opportunity to correct the little stuff along the way. Which leads me to my next point.
3. Every person you share an interaction with... You also leave your "mark".
One should be aware of how one treats others. Being your best self for the world.
But most importantly,
4. What matters most is..... What's on the inside.
I found that pretty deep.
At one point, a friend compared life with a long-distance train. She said that passengers are getting on and off, all of them with luggage. Some of them only carry a small handbag, others a huge suitcase. Some stay on the train for a considerable time, and others get off rather quickly. With some you interact, with others you don't. Some become friends, others remain strangers.
People have all sorts of theories about life and particularly about how the inside of a being is more important than the outside. Personally, I think that's a bunch of baloney. People are not attracted to each other because of someone's sunny disposition, generous nature, or sense of humour. When they first meet they know nothing about each other.
Whether you like it or not people are attracted to each other because of how he or she looks. Some women describe their ideal man as tall, dark and handsome. Others prefer a cuddly teddy bear type. Some men will stare with googly eyes at a tall, slim woman with large breasts, while others prefer a petite creature with curves.
Make no mistake, looks count. Why else do most men and women dress up to go on a date? Why else do women apply makeup and spend considerable time on their hair and nails?
When in doubt as to the importance of looks I'll refer you to this piece that I wrote some time ago …
My name is Anna and I'm an outcast of society because I'm ugly. Really, I am. This is not an opinion I hold of myself, I've come to this conclusion based on people's reactions when they see me. Some merely frown, others recoil at the sight of me, while some actually run away.
Then I sit there, wondering, why was I created such an ugly creature, so repulsive? To make matters worse, I don't have anyone to talk to. I have no family and my friends are few and far in between.
In all honesty, not everyone is horrified at the sight of me, some actually like me. But I'm not keen on them either. They don't really like me, it's more a case of fascination. I was captured a few months ago and confined to a tiny space. The man who took me away brought people over to look at me. They stood there, gazing at me, frowning, shivering all over. One of them actually said 'Good Lord, I've never seen anything so hideous.' The others nodded. 'It's the stuff of nightmares' they said.
This made me so sad, so horribly, horribly sad. Why couldn't I be beautiful, cute, or at the very least attractive?
This only goes to show what liars people are when they say 'Looks are not important or 'The inside is more important than the outside' … hm, what a joke that is. If it's all about inner beauty, why do people spend thousands of dollars on their hair? Cutting it, curling it, straightening it, colouring it. Why do they spend a fortune on makeup? While some women are relaxed about makeup, others wouldn't dream of setting foot outside without being properly moisturized and coloured and glossed in all the right places. Why do they spend so much on clothes, shoes, and accessories? Let's face it, the world belongs to the beautiful and everyone wants to be beautiful.
I want to be considered beautiful too. I want people to look at me, if not in admiration, at least with kind eyes. I want them to want to be my friend. I can be friendly, but nobody has ever bothered to get to know me, getting to know who I am on the inside. Nobody knows what I like or dislike, because nobody cares.
So I'm leaving. I've had enough of people's disdain, of their looks of contempt, of their comments about my ugliness. I will walk away and I will be hiding. But I'll still be watching. I'll be there when people come and go, when they think they're alone or having friends over. When they're reading, writing, or watching TV. I'll even be there when they're sleeping.
My name is Anna and I am a spider.
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