"Josh Hawley is a bitch." And other poetic mockeries of a cowardly senator.

Jonny Diamond

Jul 22

I am very pleased to report that one of the many ways in which the Internet is mocking now-disgraced Senator Josh Hawley—for fleeing the very mob he incited himself—is through verse. Here is what @limericking on Twitter posted last night:

Josh Hawley went out to incite
The mob in DC with delight.
He stood as their cheerer
And when they came nearer
He galloped away in a fright

— Limericking (@Limericking) July 22, 2022

I was so inspired I tossed off a few of my own this morning [to be read in a bad Irish accent]:

There once was a man from Missouri
Whose ethical vision was blurry
His fist he did pump
In support of old Trump
Before fleeing his job in a hurry.

Josh Hawley he tried to deliver
A performance with nary a quiver
But as the mob got rough
He wasn't so tough
And away Hawley ran like a river.

Did you see what the Senator did?
What he'd like to keep buried and hid?
He fled like a kitten
Or a dog that's been bitten
And so died his national bid.

He raised up his fist like a bro,
To honor the Karens and Joes.
But then they got raucous
And too close to his caucus
Now Hawley's the star of the show.

But that's not where the poetry ends. Please behold this video of Capitol Police Officer Michael Fanone weighing in on last night's hearing, specifically Hawley's terrified escape. This is what free verse poetry should be:

I talked to former D.C. police officer Michael Fanone outside the #Jan6thHearings.
Here is his response to seeing video of Sen. Josh Hawley running away from rioters after fist bumping them earlier in the day on Jan. 6 :

"Josh Hawley is a bitch", said Fanone. https://t.co/qgCPHcVh1r pic.twitter.com/rTJoJywgY3

— JC (@JCWhittington_) July 22, 2022