Adulting: Boundaries

April

Jul 22

As you guys might have read in my earlier posts about how that inconsiderate man pissed me off a month ago. Yes! The guy who I was dating then came back now. Since the Day 1 he has been like that making seasonal departures when I need him the most and rearriving when I have learned to live without him. To read that post for context Click here

But when he departured last month when too many things in my life were crumbling down I made sure that my stupid heart doesn't give him any further chance if he ever returns back. And guys! Proud moment. That happened and I made sure that I shut down the shutter.

He got in touch with me again a few days back and we chatted on WhatsApp. The next day as we jumped on call in the evening he mentioned that he would like to talk often. I liked that but my discernment was sorted. I knew already that what I want and this guy won't be welcomed anymore as he likes to reappear as per his convenience.

And then I sent over a text like I always do,

There is no fun in pushing away the people who care. I am not here to just listen to you when you are at your top form physically/mentally/spiritually, etc etc. As I am as I will find joy in your "ah" maybe I can just be there for you at your "ouch"…! you know what I mean…..
If by any chance I am being your weakness who you have to choose to let go off during the dark times then ..maybe it is not good at all.
Definitely I honor the space & time we all need and want. But you can talk, speak…..
You deserve me to be with you when you are feeling down or nothing about the nothingness around and you deserve the time when I'll go down on you…vice versa….
Running into the woods is a bad thing to do…
I want to make good choices. So, don't be a moth that gets to the flame.
You are good now so choose what is good for you so that you won't shut them down when you need them more. Maybe that's not me…

He was like sorry and all. But, this is the truth. And in the end I wrote that "lemme do the same" but backspaced it before sending it over. But in my mind I am clear and have a strong awareness at the moment. Don't want to invest in anything fickle.

He is sweet and definitely he mentioned that we can work it out and all. But right now my mind and heart doesn't give a nod to that. Miles away from melting my heart for this guy all over again.

I hope he finds someone who can overlook his push and pull style and can nurture him with all her heart.

Cheers to being more compassionate and vulnerable but also having strong boundaries.