What to do when a former best friend is still woven into your family and community
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In this month’s anonymous letter, a reader (and listener!) is trying to figure out how to move forward after the end of a 35-year friendship. The complication is that her former best friend is also her husband’s cousin, lives in the same small town, and overlaps with nearly every family and social circle in her life.
I have listened and enjoyed many of your podcasts over the last year or so. I began researching the topic about friendships after a very difficult and complex friendship breakup after 35 years of friendship.
Ours has been a complex friendship because my best girlfriend of 35 years is also my husband’s first cousin. So she is family AND we both live in a very small town. Being friends for so long and also family, and in a small town means you have almost all overlapping friendship circles and some of those circles are mutual family members.
I haven’t heard anything on your podcast yet about when your friendships includes cousins. Not quite as easy to take a break, step back, or even end the friendship altogether. This has been extremely painful to go through yet I feel this has to be common in small rural towns.
Thanks, Meg
I usually stay in the friendship lane rather than family relationships because there are some important differences and it’s not the area I’ve been studying for all these years. But this situation has so much overlap that I decided to make it this month’s letter.
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