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Do You Make Yourself Smaller Around Certain Friends?

Choose the friends who are curious about you

Nina Badzin

Jan 19

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Photo of the light through the trees by Nicole Mason on Unsplash

This month’s anonymous letter is from someone who feels unable to share her successes or little details of her life because her friends show little curiosity or seem annoyed when she talks about herself.

* Have a friendship dilemma? You can tell me about it, anonymously.

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Dear Nina,

I have a lot of friends so I feel funny writing to you. My issue isn’t that I’m lonely or need people to do things with. I’m busy enough.

The issue is that I feel like I’m only half of myself when I’m around most of my friends.

If I talk about work, they don’t ask follow up questions or they change the subject. I feel like I’m bragging when I talk about things that have gone well in my career (mostly because nobody asks me about work). Or I get a vibe from them as if they’re thinking, “Who does she think is?” sort of no matter what the topic is (not just work).

I guess I’m not totally sure what I’m asking other than, is it normal to feel like you have to be quiet or “dull” or smaller around your friends or they’ll find you annoying?

Signed, “Lucy”