Is "Beaches" the Most Iconic Friendship Movie?Or did other films influence your view of female friendship? Let us know!
If you follow Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship in any capacity on the podcast feed or on social media, then you already know my answer to the question posed in the title of this post. Is Beaches the most iconic friendship movie? My answer is yes. But your answer might be different. Some people resent Beaches because they feel it set them up for wildly unrealistic expectations of friendship—forever. I Will Defend Beaches, but I Still Want to Hear Your Favorite Friendship MoviesNot to be overly defensive of my love for Beaches, but I can confidently report that two esteemed psychology professors and film buffs agreed with me and the Dear Nina assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, that Beaches has a lot to teach us about what is required to make a friendship last for decades. To remind you (or let you know if you never saw it), CC Bloom and Hillary Whitney fight A LOT in this movie and say vicious things to each other. What feels like a refreshing take is that they make up over and over again. There are big fights. There are small selfish moments. In each case, they work it out, even if it takes years. It’s not that I believe all friendships need to last forever. Not at all. But I also think people give up VERY easily these days and are afraid to admit disappointment and hear of others’ disappointments. Both CC and Hillary have moments of massive and minor change in this movie, and we could all learn from their eventual humility and growth. Meet the Professors!Paul Eastwick of UC Davis and Eli Finkel of Northwestern University are professors of psychology who co-host the podcast Love Factually where they explain what everyone’s favorite romantic films get right and wrong about the science of romance. For episode #172 of Dear Nina, they turned that focus to friendship instead.
I hate picking favorites, but this might be one of my favorite episodes to date. Not only did we dig deep into my favorite friendship movie, we laughed a ton, AND we discussed all the official social science reasons CC and Hillary’s friendship, while sometimes fraught, is genuinely a shining example of the best of what a friendship can be when people are willing to give a little and take a little. That’s not just the famous lyric to the opening and closing song of this movie. It’s one of the main themes of this movie. I cannot do our discussion justice in this newsletter. I urge you to listen to us analyze Beaches with all of its conflict, jealousy, apologies, complementary roles, “transformation of motivation,” the “soulmate” mindset, and more. Listen to episode #172 on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts! What are you favorite female friendship movies?Please report in the comments! Some ideas are below or add your own. I limited this discussion to female friendships because movies such as Stand By Me or Dead Poet’s Society feel like an entirely different beast.
Reading update!My updated 2025 reading list with pithy reviews is HERE. I’ve been sending those out in a newsletter since 2011. LONG before Substack. Two anonymous questions you might have missed(The November question is coming soon!)
Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them! Instagram | TikTok | YouTube | LinkedIn | My Website You’re a free subscriber to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. Frustrated with some of your friends? You’re not alone! The anonymous letters are a perk for paying subscribers. You probably have a similar question. Upgrade any time for the full archive.
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Monday, 10 November 2025
Is "Beaches" the Most Iconic Friendship Movie?
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