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"What if MY kid is the mean one?"

Parenting the ringleader of the friend group

Nina Badzin

Aug 11

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NOTE: The letter below reminded me of a conversation I had with Jessica Speer, award-winning author of books for kids and teens, including BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? A Girls Guide to Happy Friendships and Middle School – Safety Goggles Advised.

I replayed the episode this week with a brand new intro (like a mini-solo episode) for episode #159 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship.

FIND EPISODE #159 on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts!

The anonymous question below about parenting “the mean girl” is NOT part of episode #159. However, since that episode and this letter have some connections in theme, I wanted to mention it here.

Dear Nina,

What is your advice if your tween is maybe the “mean girl” or ring leader of a group who dropped another girl? I have been struggling with how to parent her and make her realize it’s not nice to be the mean girl and it could backfire.

I have tried to teach about second chances and seeing if people can change before making such a matter of fact decision to leave a girl out.

Any advice is appreciated! Thanks, Anonymous