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A New Friend at the Post Office: Low-stakes, High-upside

I'd love to hear YOUR examples!

Nina Badzin

Jul 16

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New Town or New Stage of Life? This one is for you!

**And if you have a low-stakes, high-upside example to share, please tell us in the comments or email me.**

How refreshing to hear a story of new friends who met at the post office! Yes, people still strike up low-stakes conversations in public then exchange numbers. (That’s a high upside!)

HOWEVER, like any social experience that ends in this positive way, someone has to take the first step and also not be staring at their phones.

This week’s “Dear Nina” episode features Lisa Giordano, who at 31 moved across the country all while documenting her goal to build a social life and community from scratch. Single, working a remote job, and ready for an adventure after spending her entire life on the East Coast, Lisa packed up her car and set out for Austin.

In our conversation, Lisa gives a master class in what I’d call “friend-making micro-courage.” She shares examples of how she put herself out there to make friends (and continues to do so). She also shares how others were brave and asked for her number or showed up in the DMs of her social media accounts.

Each of these moments of connection required someone to show a little courage! Friendship does not “just happen.” We make it happen.

The post office example

You’ll hear more “low stakes, high upside” examples from Lisa on the episode, but this one is my favorite: Lisa was at the post office waiting for longer than usual when a woman in the same predicament asked if they should ring the bell.

Lisa noticed the woman was sporting a Yankees cap. Instead of retreating into her phone, Lisa offered a single curiosity-driven question: “Are you from New York?” Within minutes they were swapping cross-country-move stories, exchanging numbers, and planning coffee.

That’s it. One question about the hat, one moment of courage from both Lisa and this stranger, and a new local friendship was born. (Yes, they did indeed become friends.)

Listen to episode 155, “Thriving Solo: Making Friends and Creating Community After a Big Move”

Find Lisa on Instagram and TikTok.

FIND EPISODE #155 on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts!

Articles and Other Finds About Friendship

I see so many friendship-related things (or I am quoted in them). You all send me great links too. I love hearing from listeners and readers!

“I Love You But I’ll Never Read Your Substack” —> realistic writer-friend issue on The Brevity Blog by Rebecca Morrison (And yes, she also has a Substack newsletter.)
I spoke to pediatrician Dr. Jessica Hochman of “Your Child is Normal” about how parents can support their children’s social lives. There was a bit of tough love in this one! I hope it’s helpful and maybe even different from advice parents sometimes get about friendship.
I joined self-confidence coach, Leslie Randolph, of “Why Didn’t They Tell Us” for an episode about authentic friendship, fitting in, trying to be part of a “certain” group, community vs. friendship and more. This one had some tough love too. It’s just been that kind of month, I guess! I will finally meet Leslie in person at my Chicago “Dear Nina” event in a few weeks! (There are still a handful of tickets left.)

Books, Shows, Recipes I’m Into These Days

READING: I’m halfway through My Friends by Fredrik Backman and I’m enjoying it. I’m reading We Might Just Make it After All: My Best Friendship with Kate Spade by Elyce Arons and it’s really good so far. Here is my (mostly) updated 2025 reading list.
TV: I’m watching (and making LOTS of TikToks about) The Gilded Age and loving that show more every week. I’m SO INVESTED. Also watching And Just Like That. As I’ve said each week, it’s not good, but I will watch it anyway. I started Too Much on Netflix, and I’m liking it so far. Megan Stalter is basically playing the same role she plays on Hacks and that’s not a complaint.
Cooking: Not much but we’ve made great summer cocktails with Twisted Alchemy’s cold-pressed juices. More info (and a discount) below for Dear Nina readers!

Two anonymous friendship advice questions & answers you might have missed

"My friend overshares my information"

Nina Badzin

Jul 9

Read full story

Always the Fringe Friend

Nina Badzin

Jun 6

Read full story

Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them!

THANK YOU TO Twisted Alchemy cold-pressed juices—THIS WEEK’S DEAR NINA SPONSOR.

I cannot rave enough about Twisted Alchemy’s cold-pressed juices! I’ve cooked with the lemon juice and made cocktails for friends (and family) with several of the other options. Visit https://www.twistedalchemy.com/#dearnina and use code NINA25 at checkout to receive 25% off orders $75 or more, plus free shipping.

Find info about sponsoring Dear Nina episodes and newsletter posts here.

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You’re a free subscriber to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. Frustrated with some of your friends? You’re not alone! The anonymous letters are a perk for paying subscribers. You probably have a similar question. Upgrade any time for the full archive AND for (optional!) quarterly Zoom hangouts with Nina and other paying subscribers.