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White Lotus: In Defense of Friendship Triangles

All friendship "shapes" require communication, benefit of the doubt, and more

Nina Badzin

Apr 8

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The White Lotus Friendship Trio: Lessons for Your Real-Life Friendships

Sorry for the terrible photo I snapped white watching the finale of The White Lotus, season 3

It’s a very special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship dedicated to the much-discussed and debated friendship triangle in White Lotus Season 3 created by Mike White.

The friendship trio of Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie has captivated TV viewers for the last two months. Similarly, Rebekah Jacobs (the Dear Nina assistant producer) and I have been texting and talking between episodes. Now that the season finale has aired, we shared all the lessons we think Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie imparted on the world. Even their mistakes gave us plenty of friendship advice to ponder.

A big point that Rebekah and I agree on: Not all friendship triangles are bad! YES, even this particular trio has us defending friendship triangles. No friendship "shape" is good or bad. How individuals behave creates healthy or unhealthy friendships!

Friendship advice we discussed inspired by The White Lotus season 3 trio:

Think carefully before sharing information with a friend. (Kate telling Laurie about Valentin)
Be vulnerable sooner than you think. (Laurie didn't have to wait until the last night of the trip.)
Be direct, not passive-aggressive. And don't assume friends can read your mind.
Apologize and accept apologies when they're genuine
Friends don't always have to be on the same page about everything
Give your friends grace to mess up/ let some things go
Friends are not necessarily mirrors of each other
Allow friends to change and grow
Know the difference between gossip vs. genuine care and concern
Give old friendships some of the fun, ease, and benefit of the doubt we give fresh, new friendships (Chelsea/Chloe vs. the trio of old friends)
Don't a friend to meet every need
Truth daggers hurt. You can be honest with your friends without being cruel.

Episode #141: The White Lotus Friendship Triangle (another terrible photo I took while watching the show)

FIND EPISODE #141 on Apple, Spotify, Youtube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts!

REMINDER: The April friendship challenge is here! You can start the 2025 challenge any time. Each month is meant to stand alone and you don’t need an entire month to accomplish any of them. Find all the challenges listed here. Come back and let me know how it went no matter when you try that month’s “assignment.”

STAY IN TOUCH AND LET US KNOW HOW IT GOES by commenting here or in the Dear Nina Facebook group.

FOR TWIN CITIES READERS WHO WANT TO START A PODCAST

I’m running a two-hour workshop at ModernWell on May 14th, 12:30-2:30. I’ll discuss all the steps, answer questions, and we’ll end with time to run your idea by everyone at the table. Register here.

Register here for the podcast class at ModernWell

Books, Shows, Recipes I’m Into These Days

Reading: I’m still reading Talk: The Science of Conversation and The Art of Being Ourselves by Allison Wood Brooks. I started listening to The Tell by Amy Griffin and it’s really good. My 2025 reading list can be found here. I update it throughout the year.
TV: Nothing this week now that I’m done with White Lotus.
Cooking: It’s 100% Passover prep over here.
Two anonymous friendship advice questions you might have missed
How Do I Break Into a Tight Friendship Circle?
Nina Badzin
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Apr 1
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My "Friend" Ignores Me Now That Our Teens Stopped Being Friends
Nina Badzin
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July 15, 2023
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Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them!
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