You only feel deeply disappointed by people who matter to you. Well, maybe you disappointed by everyone, but that would be an exhausting way to live, and I don’t recommend it.
In most cases, we’re disappointed by the friends we adore, the ones we hoped would remain in our lives in a meaningful (even if a changed) way.
In episode #145 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I spoke to Meghan Keane, author of Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner, about rules for supporting our single friends. Meghan offered an important dose of reality for how married/partnered people can be more thoughtful and supportive of their single friends.
Everyone wants to be asked about various aspects of their lives, not merely one part of it. When Meghan was single, she didn’t want to talk about her dating life and nothing else, or be treated like “a piece on a chess board.” Similarly, I shared that I really appreciate being asked about my work and not only my kids’ college admission plans.
Bringing up a conflict with a friend is how mature adults maintain a friendship. Meghan and I both cited Dr. Marisa Franco’s book, Platonic, and the importance of giving a friend the chance hear you out and make changes. (I spoke to Dr. Franco in episode #63, “How to Tell Friends They’ve Let You Down.”) If you’re upset with your friend, you probably care enough to keep this person in your life. Why not be direct with your issue and give your friend the opportunity to repair the situation?
FIND EPISODE #145 on Apple, Spotify, Youtube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts!
You can start the 2025 challenge any time. Each month is meant to stand alone and you don’t need an entire month to accomplish any of them. Find all the challenges listed here. Come back and let me know how it went no matter when you try that month’s “assignment.”
I see so many friendship-related things, either because I find them myself or listeners send them to me. I love hearing from listeners and readers!
Reading: I just started listening to Emily Henry’s newest novel, Great Big Beautiful Life. I’m enjoying it! It feels good to get lost in a novel. I read A LOT of nonfiction. My 2025 reading list can be found here. I update it throughout the year.
TV: I’m watching Hacks, The Last of Us, and Handmaid’s Tale week by week. I’m also 75% done with Four Seasons, which I like but don’t love.
Cooking: I’m making lots of basic chicken, potatoes, and veggies lately. I have all four kids home for about three weeks before my oldest leaves again. And they like a lot of basic protein!
Two anonymous friendship advice questions you might have missed
Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them!
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