Some of my friendships grew deeper almost by accident. We didn’t have a dramatic heart-to-heart about our desire to become closer friends. More often than not, one of us invited the other to do something or go somewhere different than the usual routine OR to communicate in a new way.
Hanging out in a new place or communicating in a new way encourages the friendship along in a positive, unexpected way. It works for refreshing old friendships too! The Dear Nina May Friendship Challenge: Change the VenueEvery month on Dear Nina (the podcast) I offer one small, doable challenge to deepen or revive the friendships already in our lives or make new friends. I say “our” lives because I do the challenges too. May’s challenge might be the sneakiest one yet. It’s not too hard but, it packs a HUGE punch. Change the venue. Why “venue” matters more than you thinkBy venue, I mean two things:
When you alter either the place or the “channel,” the energy between you and your friend will change. It will be a subtle shift, but even this minor new experience or way of chatting can take you off auto-pilot, teach you something new about your friend, allow your friend to see a new side of you, and offer flexibility for the different seasons of your lives. For example, the Sunday morning walk you used to enjoy with a neighbor might not work anymore if she’s now taking care of a parent on the weekends. I explain it all in the 13-minute episode: “The Secret Power of Changing the Venue in Your Friendship” and offer tons of examples and reasons why this is great for your friendships. FIND EPISODE #144 on Apple, Spotify, Youtube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts! The May Friendship Challenge Checklist
Remember: you’re not announcing, “I’d like us to be closer now.” You’re showing not telling. You’re quietly nurturing a deeper, more varied connection. Let me know how it goes!REMINDER: You can start the 2025 challenge any time. Each month is meant to stand alone and you don’t need an entire month to accomplish any of them. Find all the challenges listed here. Come back and let me know how it went no matter when you try that month’s “assignment.”
Two anonymous friendship advice questions you might have missed
Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them! Instagram | TikTok | YouTube | LinkedIn | Threads | Twitter | Bluesky | My Website THANK YOU TO Get Red PR—THIS WEEK’S DEAR NINA SPONSOR
Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. We provide outstanding communications capabilities infused with in-depth client knowledge to help businesses in wide-ranging sectors achieve their higher potential. We primarily work with authors/books, small businesses, nonprofits, and thought leaders. Links to Amazon, Bookshop.org, or other affiliates might earn me a tiny commission, which helps operations of Dear Nina. You’re a free subscriber to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. Frustrated with some of your friends? You’re not alone! The anonymous letters are a perk for paying subscribers. You probably have a similar question. Upgrade any time for the full archive AND for (optional!) quarterly Zoom hangouts with Nina and other paying subscribers.
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Thursday, 1 May 2025
May Challenge: Switch the Setting to Strengthen Your Friendship
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